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Sadly, in the case of many narcissistic people who self-aggrandize, failure to take personal responsibility for their lifestyle choices, habits, and mannerisms goes part and parcel with a personality disorder diagnosis.
There are four distinct Cluster B personality types that are/were/have been clinically recognized in the DSMV edition of the standard diagnosis book used by mental health professionals worldwide while diagnosing.
Pretending the person who loves them most is wholly to blame for having a childhood they did not like or appreciate is the default calling card left by an adult child who themselves is an abuser of other human beings.
Seldom is the truly toxic parent or a grandparent set blamed for orchestrating harm to a family unit or targeted scapegoat mark.
If a woman left an abusive husband, she was clearly told she was being stupid and selfish.
If a man wanted to leave a woman who was abusing him verbally, physically, sexually, financially, psychologically, or emotionally?
Such is the plight of the narcissistic personality type, meaning those who are egocentric and responsibility-avoidant by nature.
The adult with a Cluster B personality type will target those who show them the most love and care for blame in order to manufacture an excuse to continue their own selfish, dysfunctional, and toxic behaviors.
No parent makes their child do things like lie, cheat, steal, have a bad temper, forces them to have a poor work ethic, or compels them to actively abuse others except in the sickest and most extreme form of cult-like families teaching things like religious zealotry actively in their home as a means of bonding the family while aligning spiritually and morally with aggressive behavior.
Yet, the Cluster B adult child will — each time caught or confronted lovingly with constructive criticism by one of their abuse victims or a therapist — pull out the “poor me card”.
Waving it in the air like a metaphoric hall pass that will enable to pass through the pearly gates of Saint Peter, the toxic adult child of a loving parent will throw guilt and shame producing shade at any and every parent, family member, friend, or person of romantic interest in order to avoid taking personal responsibility for the root cause and effect of their own abusive behaviors.
He would have absolutely and without question have been considered unmanly or without a backbone.
Those forced to stay in unhappy and socially toxic unions as parents — whether due to societal pressure or because they truly in their heart believed they were doing the right thing to stay — let their children down.