Dating when separated to someone that is separated

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In states where legal separation involves a court proceeding similar to and as complicated as divorce, or when spouses have signed a separation agreement and want to begin dating, it might make sense for them to simply divorce instead, so they can move on with their lives.

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However, some states, such as North Carolina, make a legal distinction between dating during separation and dating while living together as man and wife.

As I was driving there I was thinking that I was likely wasting my time. (The beauty of dating like a grownup is that you can talk about real stuff. He didn’t go running and screaming when I said the “M” word. There can be many perfectly acceptable (to you) reasons a man hasn’t yet divorced. If you meet another way and he mentions he is separated, ASK. Or ask “as you’re dating what are you ultimately looking for? That doesn’t include asking him why they split up or anything of that sort. Instead, use this magic question to get to the meaningful information: What have you learned from your marriage and other past relationships? Being able to make decisions like these is important.

As usual, I was time-challenged so it was too late to make a U-turn and cancel. Talk about getting our cards on the table, tout de suite, right? We’ve lived complicated lives, we’ve made bad choices, we’ve got pasts and serious obligations. If he contacts you online and you like his profile, ASK. I’ve heard that more than once and, as someone with a chronic illness, I totally get it. But instead of taking the seemingly simple road and just writing him off…make the effort to ask the right questions, listen carefully and believe what he says. There are ways to find out what you really need to know about his past relationships. Do you have stories about men you dated who are separated? PS: This is exactly the type of question I help women answer in my Over40 Love School.

Bigamy occurs when a spouse knows he's still married and marries again.

In Tennessee, it's grounds for divorce and also a criminal offense.

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