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There once was a Guardian column ‘Ask a grown-up’ where kids could email questions they wanted ‘a grown-up’ to answer, Richard Curtis said in answer to ‘Why does love hurt? ) ‘When they stop loving you, or you stop loving them, you lose the thing in your life that has made you most happy’ This is a sentiment tha...On a recent evening, I was having drinks with a male friend — a single and actively-looking-for-a-long-term-relationship friend — when he asked me why there seemed to be so many married women on Tinder.They wanted the things I used to want, and I in turn wanted what they had — freedom, excitement, interesting conversations that didn’t center on styles of child-rearing or real estate, the experience of moving through the world not exclusively as a wife or mother but as a sexual being, a full and complicated and multifaceted person, the experience of being wooed, wanted, admired, acknowledged, and seen.

” He looked at me the same way he’d looked at me when I suggested we move in together, or marry, or breed, an expression equal parts terror and love. We picked each other’s profile pictures, bounced off the other’s possible bios.

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My husband and I met at a party on a quiet street in a college town.

In the years since, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and talking and writing about marriage, and I’d begun to notice more and more women subverting, reimagining, or challenging received notions surrounding the institution, specifically when it came to monogamy.

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