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If she tells you that she is upset because her boss gave her a tough time, she wants to hear you say, "I'm sorry that work was such a drag for you today." And remember: Resist the urge to offer solutions.

The three dates before sex rule is an urban legend.

It's important to women from the first flirtation through the honeymoon and beyond.

"You've got to figure out if there's a certain look that she likes," says Kirschner. Nothing captures a woman's heart quite like a good man who wants to be a better man, according to love guru Kirschner.

She may order a meal that pairs with yours, wear your favorite color, or smile or cross her arms when you do.

Mimicking is her way of putting you at ease and letting you know she is charmed.

"Men feel the need to fix things because they are solution-oriented," says Kirschner.

"But to a woman, really listening is a wonderful, wonderful thing that deepens the relationship." Listening is important, but she also wants to know that she is being heard. When she pauses, she's giving you a cue to respond in a compassionate, caring way, says Kirschner.

It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and should not be relied on to make decisions about your health.

"If she likes a guy in tight jeans, you wear tight jeans." OK, this tip doesn't come from women, but from clever testing by psychologists of women's subconscious preferences. "Women love personal growth, they love a man who is thoughtful and sensitive." She likes it when her man recognizes a flaw -- a short temper, for example, or a regularly sullen mood after work -- and loves it when he makes an effort to address it.

One intriguing study found that the color red made men seem more powerful, attractive, and sexually desirable to women. When something's bothering her, she wants your ear, not your advice.

Women do like to talk to about what's going on in the sack, and they want to please their man -- and a tactful approach is often best. Be sure to ask for what you want in a positive and validating way.

Kirschner advises saying something along the lines of, "I would really love if you [fill in the blanks]." When you have an off night and can't perform, she feels bad, too.

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